


Moving On

by kickcows



Series: 'Please Let Me' [2]
Category: Big Hero 6 (2014)
Genre: Angst, Grief/Mourning, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-24
Updated: 2016-06-24
Packaged: 2018-07-18 02:27:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,848
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7295833
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kickcows/pseuds/kickcows
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's almost Hiro's 20th birthday, and he reflects on how much his world isn't the same since his brother died.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Moving On

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kindofabadger](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kindofabadger/gifts).



> Prompt - "Please let me recover my way."

* * *

***

It’s been six years since the night of the fire. The night Hiro’s world changed. The night _everything_ had changed. And each year that passes, the pain in his chest has yet to subside in the slightest. He didn’t just lose his brother that night. He had lost his other half - his _soulmate_. Not a day goes by that he doesn’t think of Tadashi in some way or another. A project for the company he now works at that he thinks Tadashi would be able to help him get unstuck on, a silly commercial he sees on the television, a song that comes up on the radio. So many things remind him of his dead brother.

“Hey, little man, you doin’ okay?” A hand ruffling his hair pulls him out of his daze. He looks up, and sees his aunt standing next to him, the bustle of the Lucky Cat Cafe suddenly coming back into focus.

Blinking, he smiles up at his aunt. “It’s my 20th birthday tomorrow, Aunt Cass. I’m not so little anymore.”

“Don’t remind me, sweetie.” She ruffles his hair a second time, a proud look in her eyes. “Almost not a teenager anymore! My baby is a almost a real grown up!”

The smile stays on his face, the perfect decoy to make sure his aunt doesn’t see the truth behind his eyes. “Y-Yep, almost a real one.” The hand that’s on his head gets removed, and is placed on his shoulder.

“Well, the gang will be here tomorrow to celebrate.” She looks back at the counter. “I need to get back to work. You gonna be okay, Hiro?”

He nods his head. “I’m gonna head back upstairs. Need me to come back down later?” As if to make his point, he pushes his chair back, and gets up from it.

“Nah, I’ve got it, little man. Go enjoy your last night of being a teenager.” She grins, then heads back behind the coffee bar.

Leaving the shop, he heads upstairs to their home, then makes his way upstairs. His room has stayed the same since the Robotics festival before he entered SFIT, having no desire to change it at all. Tadashi’s bed is still made, waiting for its owner to return. In his mind, Hiro knows that this will never happen, but he can’t find the strength to change anything about _his_ side of the room. Aunt Cass had stopped asking him if he wanted to have Tadashi’s things taken out after he had yelled at her for the first, and last, time in his life.

_“Hiro, honey - what do you think about getting some new bedroom furniture? You keep growing, and you won’t fit on your bed.” She walks over towards the screen that’s still halfway open, so that Hiro can see his brother’s bed from his own if he wanted to._

_He shakes his head. “No, I’m good Aunt Cass.” His feet already hang off the bed, but it doesn’t really bother him. “My furniture is just fine.”_

_“But sweetie, you really could use a nice change up here.” She pushes the partition all the way to the side, revealing what is basically a shrine to his deceased brother. “There’s really no point in keeping any of this, because it’s not like-”_

_“Don’t say it!” He speaks a little bit louder than he intends. “Please, Aunt Cass. I don’t want any new furniture. There’s no reason to spend money we don’t have.”_

_She sighs softly. “Hiro, what makes you think we don’t have enough money to splurge every once and awhile? You haven’t gotten a new bed since you were 10.”_

_“I don’t want one.” His voice comes out a little bit more calm. “When have I ever complained about my bed?”_

_“Well, fine. But if you don’t want that, I’m still going to take away these things in here. Maybe I’ll make this a craft space.”_

_Jumping up from his bed, he can feel his eyes starting to well up. “Please don’t, Aunt Cass! This room is fine the way it is!”_

_“It’s not, though, sweetie. It’s time for us to get rid of these things, and-”_

_“NO.” He shouts, hands balled into fists at his side. “YOU CAN’T GET RID OF HIS THINGS!”_

_His aunt’s eyes widen, just as he feels his stomach drop down to his feet at his actions. He can see tears falling from her eyes, his own still not coming out, as she moves away from that side of the room. She goes over to him, and pulls him against her chest, hugging him tight._

_Clinging to her, his tears finally flowing as he buries his face against her. “I’m sorry, Aunt Cass. I know that there’s no reason to keep his stuff. But, if we get rid of it, that means he’s really gone.” He sobs hard, words punctuated through his tears. “I don’t want him to be gone! Just please, let me recover my way.” Tadashi's death still doesn't feel real, even though he knows that his brother is gone._

_“I know you don’t, baby. I don’t want him gone either.” She shushes him, holding him tight. “It was silly of me to even suggest doing such a thing. I don’t want to get rid of his things either.”_

_Hiro pull away from her, eyes red. “Please, let me recover in my way. I know he’s gone, and that he’s never coming back. But that doesn’t mean that just because he’s gone, we have to erase every part of him that was in this room with me.”_

_“Okay, sweetie.” She cups his face with both of her hands, a sad, but understanding, smile on her face. “We’ll leave the room as it is.” She pulls him close into another tight hug. “I’m sorry, Hiro.”_

_Sniffling, he returns her embrace. “I’m sorry too, Aunt Cass.”_

_“Come on, let’s go watch that new show on Netflix. You know, the one where the guy does the thing?” She walks over towards the door. “I’ll make us some nachos!”_

_He wipes his nose with his sleeve. “Okay, that sounds great.”_

_When he’s alone again, he goes back over to the partition, and puts it to the way it was before, with only it open just a bit. He looks at the hat still sitting in the middle of the bed, the familiar ache returning to his chest, then makes his way back downstairs to hang out with his aunt._

Moving across the room, he pushes the shoji screen back, and heads into his brother’s sanctuary, where he hasn’t stepped foot since the night before the fire. That night, he had spent the night with Tadashi, the two of them staying up late, just going through all possible scenarios that might happen at the presentation the following day. They had spoken in quiet voices, afraid of waking up their aunt with their antics, Hiro forever grateful that he had been able to share such a memorable night with his brother before it was all taken away from him in an instant.

He picks up the San Fransokyo hat up off the bed, and places it on the desk. Toeing off his shoes, he lays down on the bed, ignoring the faint cloud of dust that becomes dislodged by his body resting on it. His head hits the pillow, and he can still smell his brother’s shampoo and a hint of the aftershave he used to use. After Tadashi had died, he had begun to use his shampoo, but it just wasn’t the same. Smelling it on the fabric, though, brings back memories he hasn’t thought of in years.

“Wish you were here,” he whispers to the room. “I hate knowing that I’m older than you.”

His eighteenth birthday, the same age Tadashi had been when he died, had not hit him as hard as this birthday. Maybe it’s because he knows he’s entering into a decade that Tadashi never made it to, like being nineteen has somehow kept him close to his brother. But now that he’s turning twenty, there’s a shift that he can’t stop from happening. Rubbing his eyes, he looks over at the window, and sees that it’s already dark outside, the evening slipping away from him.

Getting up from the bed, he goes over to Tadashi’s dresser, and pulls out one of his henleys, and a pair of plaid pajama pants, and pulls them onto his body. Even though he’s grown taller, Tadashi’s clothes are a little baggy on him. Perfect. He lifts the covers up on his brother’s bed, and gets comfortable under the linens, breathing in the scent he’ll always associate with Tadashi.

“If I could wish for anything for my birthday, it would be for you to come back.” He wipes away the tears that start to fall from the corners of his eyes. “I miss you so much, Tadashi.”

But, just like every other birthday eve he makes that same wish, when he wakes up, Tadashi still isn’t there. He gets out of the bed, and remakes it, but this time, he doesn’t put the hat back on the bed. He puts it on his own dresser, and changes back into his own pajamas, then heads downstairs where he knows his Aunt Cass is waiting to greet him on his birthday.

“Morning, birthday boy!” She calls out to him, as he walks into the living room. “I’m making french toast! It’s your favorite!”

“Thanks, Aunt Cass.” He walks over to her, and gives her a kiss on the cheek. “Smells great.”

“Anything for my birthday boy!” She turns around, and gives him a big hug. “Twenty years old!! Who’d of thought this day would ever come, hmm?”

Chuckling softly, he gives his aunt a lopsided grin. “Hey, Aunt Cass? I think I know what I want for my birthday this year.” He pours himself a cup of coffee, before sitting down at the small dining table.

“Oh, yeah? What’s it gonna be this year? A new bike? A trip to Orlando? Or, did you want to go to Europe? We could definitely do Europe.” She sets the french toast down on front of him, and hands him a ramekin of warm maple syrup. “What do you want?”

Taking a bite of his french toast, he swallows before answering in a thick voice, “I think it’s time for a new bedroom set.”

She stares at him, the lightbulb instantaneous over her head. “You sure, baby?”

“Yeah.” He nods his head, and smiles a _real_ smile at her. “I’m sure.”

“You got it!” She wipes her eyes, Hiro pretending he doesn’t see her tears, just as he hopes she does the same to him, as he wipes his own eyes. “We’ll go after breakfast?”

“Okay.”

He knows that Tadashi is gone. That nothing will ever bring him back. His memories are good enough. It’s time to start off this new decade of his life without clinging to an unrealistic dream. Tadashi would tell him the same thing. It’s time to move on.

* * *

 


End file.
